What I Wish You Knew about Complex PTSD: A Quick FAQ
Is it really that complex?
Yes, complex post-traumatic stress disorder is COMPLEX. It impacts every aspect of my life, from my emotions and physical well-being to my work and relationships. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD after growing up in domestic abuse and violence and being in a few abusive relationships. These experiences rewired my brain (and no, I am not being metaphorical here. C-PTSD changes the way your brain works.)
Don’t you just have regular PTSD?
No. Some of the symptoms are the same as PTSD, but C-PTSD and PTSD are different. PTSD occurs after a single traumatic event or short-term trauma, whereas C-PTSD occurs after exposure to trauma over a longer period of time (usually over years of being traumatized). Both PTSD and C-PTSD have symptoms in common, like flashbacks, hypervigilance, and intrusive memories. However, people with C-PTSD experience emotional dysregulation and have difficulty forming and maintaining intimate relationships.
You won’t find C-PTSD in the DSM, the manual clinicians use to diagnose patients. The APA has not accepted C-PTSD as an official diagnosis, even though scientific research supports and recognizes C-PTSD. So, many people receive a diagnosis of PTSD who have C-PTSD.
If it’s all happening in your head, can’t you control it?
If I could control it, I would. When I get triggered, my body tries to protect itself through a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. The response is different depending on the trigger and originates in the brain stem. Unlike the frontal cortex, the brain stem regulates vital bodily functions and relays information to the brain. The brain stem filters the information from the body to the brain and causes the body to respond to perceived threats. In a person with PTSD or C-PTSD, the brain stem reacts to a stimulus that mirrors a threat from the past, even when no danger is present at that current moment.
Unfortunately, the only way to “correct” this response from the brain stem is to have corrective experiences or healing experiences. So no, I can’t control it.
Why can’t you just go _____________ and do _______________?
There are some places I cannot go to and some activities I cannot do. These all relate to my trauma. If there is a place I don’t want to go to, then it is possibly a trigger for me, or I believe it could be triggering to me. It’s the same with activities. Believe me, all I want is to be a normal person and to be able to go anywhere with my friends and do anything without having a flashback or being triggered.
What scares you the most about C-PTSD?
The flashbacks. Not all flashbacks are the same or show up the same in the body. The ones that scare me are the ones where my body fully relives the trauma. My body goes into a panic, my heart races, I feel scared, I scramble to a place or position where I can defend myself, and I can’t breathe. That last part is what scares me the most. It feels like a horrible asthma attack, and – I don’t even think this is a rational fear – I’m scared that one day I will have a flashback so bad that I will stop breathing.
Why is connection so hard for you?
It’s not that I want to be emotionally available; it’s just that I am afraid that you’ll rip out my soul before you leave. Growing up in an abusive environment means that I don’t feel safe in relationships, both romantic and platonic. It’s hard to form attachments when people are the most terrifying thing in the world for you.
Do you think you’ll ever heal from everything you went through?
This is a tough question to answer. Physically, I will never heal. There is no cure for C-PTSD. The trauma rewired my brain, and that never goes away. I know that in that regard, I will never be able to fully heal. Emotionally, spiritually, and in every other way trauma has impacted my life, I hope I can fully heal one day. It’s a lot to think about healing from, and I have come a long way in my recovery. For now, that’s what is more important to me: the growth.
