December is over, so it’s time for a wrap-up of my Holiday Joy Plan!

The 31 days flew by. I thought this holiday season was going to be a lot more challenging since it is my first one since coming out. It turned out to be a month of authenticity, discovery, and finding joy in the small things. I know that sounds cliché, but when I started coming out and made the decision to publicly come out as trans, I did so with a lot of fear. I was afraid that no one would see the real me, would accept the real me, would love the real me. I was afraid of the many horrendous stories we see online that the media loves to propagate to vilify and scare trans people. More than I was afraid of the threat of violence, I was afraid that no one would love the most guarded part of me.

So, I decided to confront fear with joy. And thank God I did.

Week 4 and a Half

The first part of the week I spent in Holiday Mode. On Monday, I got to quickly visit with a friend while she packed to go see her family. I love spending time with friends even if it’s just helping pack or winding yarn while my friend packs. There’s just something so therapeutic about winding yarn. She gave me a copy of Pageboy by Elliot Page (I had given her a gift earlier), and I am excited to read it! I am curious to see what connections I’ll make and what I will discover about Elliot and myself. (Yes, I am one of those weird people who comes out and then instantly runs to a library or a bookstore to try and learn more.)

Tuesday, I spent trying to discover more Christmas music while working on my crochet gifts.

Wednesday, my friends and I got together for a Christmas Eve party. It was my first Christmas party where I was able to be out! We hung out, watched shows and movies, talked, exchanged gifts, and built a mini gingerbread village. Also, this didn’t really hit me until the next day, but it was also the first time I got to see my name on cards/gifts.

Like so many of my fellow Loons, I spent the rest of the year going to the cottage, watching Reheated Rivalry, and anything Heated Rivalry related I could find. I was able to find the first book on Libby and listened to the audiobook in like two days! (And, no I will not be talking about Kip’s voice. I also pretended it was Robbie’s voice instead.) Currently, I am on waiting lists for the rest of the books in the series. I even watched the Empty Netters podcast reviews of the episodes and the live stream.

The best thing to come out of my HR obsession has been the community I have found on Threads. I have met so many crazy Loons who are even more obsessed with HR than I am (which I didn’t think possible!). Thank you, Thriends, for being welcoming and supportive, especially my new cis gay male Thriends! For a while, I was nervous to post about HR or about my love for the series and Skip. I was afraid that cis gay men wouldn’t accept me, a pre-HRT queer trans man, as part of the community, and I have had many bad previous experiences to justify my fear. I have been made to feel more tolerated than accepted, been avoided, been deadnamed, and been referred to as “the only female at the table.” I didn’t think cis gay men would ever see me as anything other than genitalia. I was very apprehensive about approaching the gay community again. Instead of ostracizing me as I feared, you made me feel welcome, like I was just another crazy Loon to add to the Asylum. You let me share and shared so much with me. Thank you for letting me join the Asylum and for giving me so many healing experiences!