I am halfway through my 31 Days of Joy for December focus, and it’s time to start reflecting on the first two weeks. Mostly, I am proud of myself for sticking with it and being dedicated to the process. Working and being a graduate student doesn’t leave me much free time, so I am happy when I can find time for myself and do it routinely.

Focusing on joy right now has felt both illuminating and strange at the same time, and as I navigate between the digital and real worlds, I feel like I am living in two realities. I pick up my phone, doomscroll, and see news, current events, tragedies, and attacks on my community that leave me depressed and mourning. Then I put down my phone, start focusing on what’s around me, and remember to find the joy in the day. It’s so strange to think that something that sprouted from realizing how depressed I’ve been is now helping me cope in a world that I no longer recognize. In spite of all the pain, rage, and attacks, I am happier now than I have been, and other people have started to notice. I love hearing now how happy I look and how infectious my joy is. This is a huge change from people asking me why I look upset. So, I am enjoying the change.

Here’s a look back at the first half of December.

Week 1 Recap

This week, I feel like I was struggling to get my sea legs. I focused more on the small things this week that really make the holidays for me, like pumpkin bread, Advent calendars, and Lebkuchen (German gingerbread cookies). These things were a must growing up! Every year, my grandma would buy us a chocolate Advent calendar, and we would make Lebkuchen. I don’t have the time or patience to make it now (but maybe that’s a project for next year!).

The big event and takeaway from this week were the Tree Lighting event. This was the first time I was able to go to my local tree lighting. Before they light the tree, there’s a party with a local DJ. They close off the street and set up a stage near a giant Christmas tree. There are chairs for those who want to sit and a space for others to dance or stand while waiting for the lighting. Both before and after the tree is lit, local bands, dancers, and artists perform.

I went with my friend, and for the first time, I went to a local event dressed as myself, as a man!!! I felt so free being able to wear men’s flannel (not women’s!) and dance in the middle of the street. I left that night knowing I have the confidence to leave the house and be in public as myself.

Week 2 Recap

This week started off a bit rougher as I had a bit of a cold. So, the first half of the week, my focus was on finding the small joyful moments of comfort while lying in bed after work, recovering from a cold. The end of the week and the weekend became more dynamic. I was finally feeling better, and on Friday I was surprised with a slice of chocolate cake at work! Over the weekend, I felt well enough to socialize again.

Saturday, I did some Holiday craft shopping at Michaels with my friend, Oli. We found a lot of cute craft ideas and toured the yarn section (because what kind of knitter would I be without browsing for more yarn to add to my stash!). We settled on scratch holiday cards, where you scratch off the design, and small canvas acrylic painting kits (pictured above). We spent the night painting, chatting, and watching one of my favorite holiday comedies. Theo, my cat, approved of both paintings, especially the one on the right!

Sunday, I went with another friend on a short road trip. We drove up the coast to Pismo Beach. Our first stop was a cute cafe for a short break and some caffeine. Then we decided to go for a walk to stretch our legs after being in the car for an hour. We ended up finding Old West Cinnamon Rolls and stopped for a bite. (I got a maple bacon cinnamon roll!) We got back in the car and continued on to Montaña De Oro State Park. We hiked one of the trails. It was an easy hike with no rough inclines and a pretty smooth trail. It did have some of the best views. We stopped almost every few feet to take pictures. I also took some videos of the waves that I might turn into relaxation videos later. I’ll keep you posted on that one.

Key Takeaways

Feeling more comfortable and confident in presenting as myself outside and in public

Not letting fear stop me from being myself

Connecting more with friends and getting outside the house

Finding joy in the small everyday moments

Seeing joy as a way to help me survive and navigate transitioning during a tough political climate